Kristian's Incredible Adventure - Part IV: When Fries Aren't Fries

Part IV: When Fries Aren't Fries

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Please be a traveler, not a tourist. Try new things, meet new people, and look beyond what’s right in front of you. Those are the keys to understanding this amazing world we live in.

- Andrew Zimmern

(From book Andrew Zimmern's Bizarre World of Food: Brains, Bugs, and Blood Sausage)

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Day 2: Saturday, March 17, 2012

After my totem pole explorations, my stomach was starting to grumble. It was getting to be on the late side of lunch and I already knew where I was heading.

I made my way up to Chelsea to catch the old Route 66 and then continue to Vinita...



...where the popular Clanton's Cafe awaited me.

Clanton's is the "oldest continually owned family restaurant on Route 66 in the state of Oklahoma" according to their website and they are really known for their chicken fried steak.

But that's not why I headed there...

...more on that in just a minute.

When I arrived, the parking lot in back was packed and every table was full inside. Being that I was by myself, I even offered to sit at a table with others (they didn't even humor that suggestion though).

Fortunately, like I said before, it was getting toward the late side of lunch...

...so I probably waited 10 minutes at the most before a table cleared and I was seated.

Once I found what I was looking for on the menu, I ordered it excitingly...

...and, after I ate my salad with blue cheese dressing...



...my awaited calf fries came with a side of potato fries and green beans.

Clanton's was also known for their calf fries, just as the town of Vinita was known for its Calf Fry Festival (so it seemed right to head here).

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Wait! you may be saying. What exactly are calf fries?

A very good question, I would happily respond.

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Also called mountain oysters and various other names, perhaps this video from the film Funny Farm should help...

...just change "lamb" to "calf."

So there you go! I was actually eating little calf testicle nuggets with either a horseradish or cocktail sauce to dip them in...

...and they were actually quite delicious!

With the crunchy fried seasoned batter and the tender meaty interior, they really did tasty like Kentucky Fried oysters with dipping sauce (and I can tell you this as an official Kentucky Colonel...no lie!).

I cleaned up my plate (unfortunately, without any room for their homemade pies) and went out to tackle a few quick touristy stops on the long day's drive ahead.

My first quick stop was right there in town over both lanes of I-44...

...at the world's biggest McDonald's...

...the structure itself was big and it even had a small Will Rogers Museum inside...

...but it was unimpressive when I went inside.

So I just kept moving.



I then headed to Miami (pronounced My-am-uh)...



...where I walked through the rather relaxed downtown area...



...checked out the mural...



...scratched my chin impressively at the historic Coleman Theater...



...and contemplated getting a burger at Waylan's Ku-Ku Burger.

But I was still stuffed.



Here's the Ku-Ku, by the way.

Only a few minutes further north brought me to Commerce, OK...

...where I found the house that Mickey Mantle grew up in (moved there when he was 4)...



...and it really was a tiny lil place.


And then I stopped to look at the time.

In fact, my dear readers, I should tell you now that I was hoping to make my way to Maryville, Missouri for the night (to make things easier for the next day)...

...and that was still another 250 miles to go (4.5 hours)!!!

Feeling the afternoon wind-down starting to take effect, I nabbed some coffee at a gas station and drove my way up Route 69 through Kansas.

Overall, this drive up to Maryville was a rather boring one, filled with either phone calls, silence or evangelical radio (this involved a lot of my trip, honestly...only near big cities did I get decent radio).

Then, when I got back into Missouri, the terrain seemed interesting enough...

...to make a video (just ignore the radio like I did).

When I finally did make it to Maryville, I follow the front desk's advice and ate at the local restaurant A&G...

...where I got this tasty (and slightly broiled) moussaka.

I didn't understand why there was a lemon wedge wedged into the food, but the people were nice (talked to two older couples at a table across from mine) and the food was homemade.

Just notice the small pies with the dish - a cheese pie and a spinach pie...

...just look at that homemade goodness.

Also, if you ever do head that way, keep in mind that they sweeten their butter and it's great on just about anything...so don't ignore it.



By the end of the day, I had driven more than 400 miles (7.5 hours) and I was really worn out.

It was the end of St. Patrick's Day and I hadn't done anything festive to celebrate the event.

So I finished the day at the Applebee's Restaurant next to my hotel...

...and honored the Irish culture with some Jameson Whiskey.